I recently cut my hours back at work so that I am only there 2 days a week.,but on those days i have to wake up at 4:30am in order to be at work to open at 6 am. The other days i can sleep until 5:30 (which feels really good I must say).This week however has been really hard on me emotionally. It really hasn't been horrible but I have a lot on my mind and being a woman we tend to carry things around with us that may be nothing to someone else but is HUGE to us! Everyday I pray to God and give things to him but I guess I just have a problem really letting go and completely Trusting in him. I think we has women tend to have control issues and sadly even with God I know for me I want to hold on a little bit in fear of losing complete control and believe me I pray about this constantly. I want to allow God complete control of my life.So usually when the clock starts screaming at me at 4:30 I moan and whine about having to get up so early and how its not fair and how I am oh so tired and I really need my sleep and on the days I get to sleep until 5:30 being the selfish creature I am I go through the same whining exercise. Its really rather selfish of me now that I think about it.Today was different though. Let me start from yesterday. I had to work so i got up at 4:30 started my day in a rather bad mood ! I missed so many oppritunities at work to share Gods Love with people because I was soo wrapped up in the fact that I was tired because I had to get up to early and it wasn't fair and honestly I carried this all through my day.God threw little reminders at me all day that would bring me back to the reality that people needed prayer and Love worse than I did but I continued to cry and moan about "MY" problems . Last night we had our "made to Crave" small group and as I listened to the video and listened to the other women in my group talk about their week and other feelings I slowly began to realize that we all have our own struggles and difficulties and "BAD DAYS" and I began to share things with my small group that I never really wanted anyone to know and I prayed out and called out to God on my way home declaring my love and Thanking him for that group of ladies and asking him to make tomorrow all about him!
This morning I didn't have to get up until 5:30 but at 4:30 on the dot I was wide awake. Now I have to be honest normally I would be so mad ! "What I stll have an hour to sleep grrr." but today was different. I felt so at PEACE . I felt like God was speaking to me . I thought I am up an hour early ! This is NO accident you see what we sometimes think is a freaky act of nature is God's perfect timing.He gave me an extra hour to soak in His presence and His love.I started to read in Romans and Romans 15:13 says this: "Now may the God of hope fill you with all the joy and peace in believing,so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." I really love this. I think that sometimes if we just stop and listen to the signs and sounds around us He will speak . I have to be honest I am always praying and asking him to show me Lord speak to me Lord and I think He has I think I just havent been still long enough to listen. This morning I heard him clearly when he said I Love you I need to spend time with you so wake up an hour early!
