A few days ago I was watching a show on TV about a man that follows Mother Tigers and their young.He watches closely how she carefully cleans and nurtures them and when she leaves them to hunt for food, he will go into her den and check on the young. One thing that really caught my interest in the show was when he didn't get out fast enough or if he got to close when the mother was playing with her cubs, the mama tiger's behavior drastically changed, I could feel myself inching up closer to the TV and I was drawn to the way her body language expressed "don't you even think about coming close to my baby." Her calm compassionate look in her eyes was quickly changing to defensive ,cold almost an evil glare right into the camera.In a matter of seconds the chill ,relaxing ,calm tiger turned fierce and ready to attack ,to even kill if she had to. As I sat there and watched this I became suddenly aware of my own behavior, for quite sometime my 13 year old had been experiencing problems at school and as the problem became more frequent and eventually became downright unacceptable. So as I watched that tiger change right before my eyes I suddenly began to realize how much alike we were. I new in my mind that I wanted to attack the source of Haley's hurt . She was my baby and I felt her safety was being violated. I no longer felt in control of her well being while she was in the school's care and that frightened me . But I also knew that my behavior would determine how I was seen by that source. Did I want to be seen as the angry, revenge seeking mother that would destroy anything in my path to get to this source or Did I want to be the calm ,but serious mother that wanted to handle the problem the right and just way. After all my 11 year old still has a couple years left at this school and I didnt want my behavior leaving a sour taste in the adminstrations mouth when our name came up. So for several days I prayed for God to be in control over this, I wanted his guidance and understanding. I wanted to know how to handle this situation in a manner that would not only would keep the Sparrow name from being tarnished at the school, but I wanted my love for Jesus and people to be shown through this experience even though it was a bad one. I think the way we interact with people in bad situations will leave more of an impact if we are loving ,concerned, and respectful rather than being irradatic and mean. But lets face it as all mother's know when it comes to our children God eqiupped us with a defensive mechanism that is like no other , our priorities change quickly when we sense danger around our babies! The bad part is Satan knows this too , and if we are not careful he can twist our way of thinking to really cause us to act irrashionally . This almost happened to me yesterday , when the situation finally came to a head, which I knew would and I lost it! I was so enraged that I know my usual calm, collective demeanor changed and I probably looked the same as the tiger when she sensed her cubs being in danger , to the school adminstration. Thankfully before the situation became out of control God reminded me that the adminstrators were not the source and they were there to help, so I was able to contain my rage and return to a calm and mature state and talk with them about the situation. Although I did not feel as though the probleme was handled yesterday I still left it in the adminstrations hands and had to believe it would be handled promptly and correctly. But that still left an opening for Satan to get in my mind and remind me that this problem should have been taken care of by now and why should I have to wait for responses. I spent most of the evening feeling upset and frustrated instead of feeling confident about the matter.Even this morning I was still grasping for some kind of answers I called friends and family looking for advice , but the funny thing is I dont really know what I wanted to hear . I think my "Tigeress" instinct wanted refenge ,blood for what the source had put my daughter through. I didnt want to be satisfied with "Its being handled" . How was I suppose to know what was being said to and about my child when I wasn't there. After it became clear to me that friends and family phone calls weren't really giving me the comfort that I needed I began again to pray about this . Honestly I dont even know exactly what I was asking God for ,I just wanted to feel peace for Haley.I didnt want her to be brought down by this source any more. At this point I didn't even care if they were punished for what they did I just wanted peace for her. Strangely enough by the time I reached the school for Ashley's BETA club induction ,I was feeling a little better and was even able to relax during the ceremony. Afterwards when I asked to speak with administration and we started to talk I began to really feel a comfort come over me. Just 24 hours earlier I wanted blood ,I wanted to fight But today by the time I left the school I realized that no harsh words were said, no yelling was done and the conversation ended with a hand shake and a smile it occured to me that even though the situation still was far from over probably, I was at peace. I was confident that the administration was taking care of things and I had a newly restored trust that my children were in good hands. Now as I look back on the situation I can smile because as part of growing relationship with God I was able to experience first hand what real peace feels like. I could feel the difference when I gave him control of the situation. I truly feel that because of my actions and the power of listening and allowing my words to be possitive and having complete composure not only did things remain calm but I feel it restored hope in the adminstration. I can't imagine how many times the exact same situations have gone extremly bad for the school system . I have seen and heard first hand how parents have became violent with teachers and staff and have used words that are to extreme to even be called "potty words" and too many times in this world parents are even encouraged to behave this way. Had I allowed Satan to twist and play in my mind much longer this could've easily happened. It makes not only the need for Jesus in my life amazingly clear but also the need for me to share Him . I hope that my actions today did just that ! I thank God that my protective instinct can compare to such a strong beautiful animal ,but I also Thank Him that through Him we can control that instinct to know when and how to use our protective aggression and that even in bad situations we can still bring Him the honor and the glory.
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