A friend of mine encouraged me last year to choose a word.....One word that could be a marker for my life for the year to come. A word that I would soon learn that would help me get into my bible more. A word that no doubt assisted in a lot of decisions that I made and ultimately played a huge role in changing my life. My word last year was DREAM .... and it was the perfect word ! God had planted a dream in me to not only sing His praises and to learn what it means to worship ,but He also gave me a passion for sharing that dream with others . I never pictured myself being part of an amazing band leading worship every Sunday but God knew His plans for me and when you are obedient to His plans for your life ,things will happen that you never dreamed of . I am definitely proof of that and I am so Thankful that God reveals our passions and our dreams to us , but He also reveals stuff that we would rather stay hidden. Things we struggle with and self struggles that we don't want others to see for fear of them not approving or fear that no one will want to be around you , or fear that no one will understand you ,or fear of not fitting in. God reveals them to us to bring them to the surface where they can be recognized and dealt with God wants us to grow in Him. He wants us to share our struggles with others so that they to can grow in a relationship with Him. . The enemy Ha ! well that's a whole other issue Satan wants you to keep them hidden in the dark to eat away at you and cause you to fear and worry so that you don't put your full trust in Gods plans. Satan doesn't want Gods kingdom to grow. He doesn't want us to use our gifts and talents to bring God glory. He wants us to live in fear ,in distrust , he wants us to seek out self gratification from each other knowing full well that humans will eventually fail each other .
I have learned over the past year that as humans and I speak totally for myself we continuously underestimate the power that God has and I know for me I feel so undeserving of any of that great power,and for that reason I tend to seek approval of other humans instead of trying to please God. That is where this years word comes into play. Even after all the great things God did in my life in 2012 . I am so quick to pull out the negative things and I am constantly seeking approval of others every single day it seems like and let me just tell you that can be exhausting and not to mention heart shattering when you don't hear what you think you need to. Because of this approval addiction I am in a constant struggle with finding Joy in almost any situation. When I think back to the past year and all that God has done for me and my family , my husband, my girls ,and even my parents I should be overwhelmed with Joy . WoW !!! God has really changed lives of the people I love the most and it is freaking amazing but instead of letting the Joy take over I am quick to let the enemy in and remind me of all the flaws that I have that my family still has and its a slow destructive pattern that repeats itself . My heart feels empty, no joy ,no excitement about prayers that God has answered, Dreams that have come true; just a cup half empty.
Here's the thing about having a relationship with Jesus and I think another friend said it best when she said He will illuminate and then eliminate . You see Jesus is my best friend I can go to him every time I am struggling with Joy or with pain or with dissatisfaction and he reveals the truth to me every time, and over these past few weeks boy has He been honest . I have a serious approval addiction issue . He reminds me that He is greater and He has more knowledge about my situation than any other person I know could ever have. God created me He knows me inside and out so why is it so hard to give Him my issues instead of seeking others approval. I love what Psalms 139 verses 1 and 2 says ,
"O Lord you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise: You perceive my thoughts from afar."
I Love that God knows me and this year as I take a journey with the word JOY .I am excited to have another layer of who I used to be peeled away, another part of my old life eliminated because I am a new life in Christ and in order to fully find JOY I have to learn that I don't need approval from others ,I don't need to work so hard to please others. God made me who I am for a reason . I don't need to work so hard on being perfect for others. WOW ! God has taught me in one year things that I would have loved to had for an entire lifetime. How to worship and what that means . He has taught me how to love really love no matter the circumstances, But what I've learned this past year more than anything and that I will continue to strive for ..for years to come is that I want people to see Jesus in my life completely. The way that I live , in my words in my actions and in order to do that I am surrendering all of myself to Jesus. in 2013 I want to have a heart full of JOY and as an adult I will sing Ive got the Joy Joy Joy Joy down in my heart ....where? down in my heart......where? down in my heart ,,,and I'm so happy so very happy I have the love of Jesus in my heart.... and I'm so happy so very Happy I have the love of Jesus in my heart and I will mean every word of it !
2 Corinthians 5:17
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation ;the old has gone,the new has come."
Romans 15:13
" May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
Psalm 30:12
"that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.
Lord my God, I will praise you forever."
Lord my God, I will praise you forever."
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